Round Flat Tables

I'm sitting here at 05:30 waiting on my flight to Madrid for a meeting with our ReachGlobal European leadership team, and I'm thinking. One statement that I've made is that we in RG Europe want to help create 'round, flat tables' for partnership. Round tables so that everyone can see everyone else. Flat tables because we are all equals. No one is 'above' anyone else based on money, geographic birthplace, or power. This attitude is best described in Philippians 2:5-11 and it is supernatural. As North Americans, this is counter-cultural and we're generally not very good at having this attitude. We think we have what everyone else needs to hear or have. I'm hoping that we can make some good progress this week in helping to create these tables. -it's about the glory of God

Angst, Humility and Trust

Support Team Building, Ministry Team Development, People Raising, Fund Raising--whatever you want to call it--has been the topic of a couple of conversations for me lately. I guess that’s part of being a missionary, you have conversations about stuff no one else really thinks about. But every year about this time I start getting stressed out. We're coming up on Christmas. I'm supposed to be jolly and focused on the 'reason for the season,' but all I feel is anxiety and a bit of awkwardness. We’re getting to the end of the budget year. I should do a ‘year-end ask’ to make sure there will be something in the account at the end of the year, but it’s a huge fight in my mind to make this happen. Can’t I just enjoy kids coming home for Christmas and revel in the season? So that’s the context for you...my annual angst.

This morning I was reading through Romans 3 where Paul was talking about how no one other than Jesus has or is able to do enough to satisfy the Law. That's when it hit me: that's what the effort of Support Team Building feels like to me. I can never do enough and I'm not good enough at it to satisfy whatever 'ideal' I've got in my mind. What if I just worked more hours? That doesn't get me anywhere because the hours I work and what I get paid aren't directly connected. Nope, I just have to grit my teeth and ask. It’s humbling. Is this any way to provide for a family? I could have done more during the year to communicate better, send more letters or something (phone calls?), so that I wouldn't be in this position. Am I learning anything here?

What about changing the game a bit? I do want to do a better job of joining the churches and people I know with what God is doing in Europe. I want to be more intentional about being a connection point for ministry between Europe and the rest of the world. But can I change things so that it costs less to do missions? What kind of ‘cost’ are we talking about here? Maybe it would be cool if it was free, but like David, I don’t want to give God something that costs me nothing (1Chron 21:24).  No, I think it should cost me something so I have to depend on God. He's worth it.

I think there are two things that God is gently driving (though it feels like a hammer-drill today) into my heart: humility and trust. God is teaching me that only He provides for me and my family. That's humbling, especially when I realize that working more hours or somehow trying harder are only thin veneer coverings for trying to do it myself. Sure, I've got to be responsible. That's why I'll include a link for online giving, send out emails, tweet and do what I can to help you see what God is doing in Europe and to understand the vision to which He has called our family. But there is a fine line between my personal responsibility and taking things into my own hands to bring about God’s promise of provision (check out Genesis 16 to see how Abram tried it). So I need to humbly ask, without biting my lip or making a face, and trust that He will be at work to provide for our needs. I ask Him first, and then I ask the local churches and people He has brought into our life, because I know that this is what He's asking me to do. He might give me another avenue in the future, but right now He’s teaching me to give up control of my life and trust Him as I ask others.

Trust is such a difficult word. It has to do with believing. Do I really believe that stuff in Luke 12:27 about how He cares for the lilies of the field? It's easy to say 'yes,' but it's a whole lot harder to live it. God, please help me.

My most deadly enemy in 2011

“…God blesses us so that His glory might be made known in all nations. But an all-important question remains. How do we make God’s glory known in all nations?” – David Platt in Radical

The house is quiet as I sit here on New Year’s Day. Football hasn’t started in the US and no one is up yet after the parting last night. So I’m thinking about the new year. In 2011, how do I do my part to make God’s glory know in all nations? What is it that I believe He is calling me to this year? Heavy stuff, but I’m most of the way through my pot of coffee and I think this is the kind of moment for these thoughts.

God has us in a unique position. He has shaped me in a specific way, given me experiences that most others haven’t had. You can say the same thing. You and I are instruments in our Father’s hand, formed by Him to fulfill a specific role in making His glory known in all nations. Heavy. Scary.

Most days, I love everything about what He has called me to. But there are days where I look at this place He has me and I want to step back into safer areas, areas where I don’t have to trust Him so completely. Comfort is probably one of my most deadly enemies. Humility and courage have to me two of my greatest allies.

I think I see the answer to the ‘how’ question for my life. The next is', “In His power, will I do it?” I’m praying for you and me, that this year we will.

My Boss Speaking at Cape Town 2010

Back Home…for a bit

These three pieces of luggage held most of me for the past 53 days. I cheated a bit with odds & ends scattered around the car, but generally it was all in there.

Tim was laughing when I was up at 2AM the night before I was flying back to Budapest with stuff spread around the living room, trying unsuccessfully to make 65lbs fit in 50lbs of space. Well, actually 54lbs, the lady at the counter was very nice to me when she saw the stricken look on my face. When I unloaded everything back at the house I decided that I have too much stuff. I’ll be purging a bit more over the next 28 days. Yeah, that’s how long until the next trip. This one is with the family to the US for the summer. Way better. =)

I’m spending today reflecting on what happened over the past two months, the people, places, conversations, and thoughts that ran through my life. Hopefully I’ll be able to process everything well over the next couple of days. I’m also working on being intentional about the coming 28 days. What are the most important items on my agenda? Reintegrating into the family, tasks at the house/cars, people to reconnect with, items to follow up with from this trip, and plans for the coming months.

So far, my cogitation has given me one nugget. I lost about 25lbs over this trip (I wish the airline had credited me that in luggage). I was reading 1 Chronicles 11-12 about King David’s might men (esp. Benaiah in vv. 22-25).  David’s men had skill and devotion. They ordered their lives to serve him well in their capacities. Losing some weight is a good start for me. But what are the other changes I can make to be more focused and efficient in serving my Lord? Not exactly the thought I expected to consume me upon returning to my house, but there it is.

Two false notions American churches should reject about global ministry

Pastor Chris Brauns gets the hat tip for this post. Seriously good stuff to keep in mind as you are partnering with the Church in Europe or anywhere for that matter. Thanks Chris!

Normal People

Think about the biggest names in the Church today. Who are the most influential Christian leaders you read about and listen to? Some guy from California? A pastor from Minnesota? Chicago? Anyone from West Liberty, Ohio? (Just checking to see where your 'fame threshold' is!)

When I think about the people who are well-known or influential in the Church today, I come up with a list of names of people that I don't know. I have no idea who they are personally, so I assign them a character of perfection. My thinking goes like this: 'They must not have any flaws, because it seems like God is working through them to build His Church.' The next thought is, 'I can't be used like that, because I have flaws.' Strangely, when I was younger, I thought, 'God can use me because I'm just as good as they are.' Both of those conclusions are wrong. The reality is that God does some crazy stuff with normal, flawed people.

Recently, I was reading through the book of Judges, on my trek to read through the whole Bible and feel better about myself as a 'real' Christian who reads the whole Bible. As I rambled through this chronicle of the days following the death of Joshua, I found some interesting people.

• Ehud, a favorite among junior high boys, known for his stabbing technique as he delivered a message from God.
• Deborah, a favorite among junior high girls for her strength and independent nature.
• Gideon, the mighty warrior hiding to do his farm work.
  Jephthah, a guy of questionable pedigree (he didn't come from a Free church or go to Trinity), but God used him mightily.
• Sampson, the imperfect hero.

When I got done reading, I had this thought ringing in my head: God does some crazy stuff with normal, flawed people.

The reason I became a missionary was not to do email (it barely existed then, so it was difficult to hate it yet) or go to meetings or raise support (raising support isn't evil like rooting for the Oakland Raiders, only my attitude towards it). My problem is that those things become 'what I do.' My vision for what God is calling me to becomes too small. I can lose heart, and then, even if I had a tent peg or a donkey's jaw in my hand, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

Ephesians 2:10 says, "For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."

Reality Check 101: I am a normal, flawed person, but one who has been redeemed by Jesus. What God wants and plans to do with me is up to Him.

This reality check is for you, too. He has done some amazing things to bring you to the place you are right now. Those experiences weren't for nothing. Fight the battle of believing Him, believing the things He says about you (we are His masterpiece!) and to you. Shake off the things which so easily entangle you and do the things--the crazy things--He is calling you to in this place He has brought you.

Albania

I spent ten days in the Balkans in the beginning of February. It was a great time with some great people. I didn't take any pictures of note with a camera, but I have a couple in my mind. Here's one:

We were in a country neighboring Albania. The guy I was staying with asked if we could stop buy a friend's place for a while. Seems like his friend doesn't have too many friends where he lives, so my buddy likes to stop out to see him as often as he can. We drove out into the hills. The road was kind of paved, but not much. It was a grey, chilly, dark afternoon and it didn't take too long to decide a GPS would be a joke where we were headed. Rickety bridges, hairpin turns, interesting 'houses,' and after a while we were there. This guy lived alone. His two sons were grown and living in another country. His wife had left him to move back to her home country. All of them had returned last summer to see him be baptized in his village. After he did that, the neighbors killed his dog. Lots of family in the area, but not friends now. My buddy would spend a few hours with him talking about Bible stories and what they meant. This guy doesn't read. He's got God and my buddy.

The picture in my mind is this guy alone. Working in the field, splitting firewood, or puttering around the house...alone. How does he get any food for his soul? How does he stay alive?

I know I don't have the whole picture, but that's the piece that's stuck in my mind.

Humility

Gospel humility « Of First Importance:
“Humility agrees and is glad that everything we have is a free gift of God, and that this severs the root of boasting in our distinctives. Whatever talents, whatever intelligence, what ever skills, whatever gifts, whatever looks, whatever pedigree, whatever possessions, whatever wit, whatever influence you have, put away all pride because it is a gift, and put away all despair because it is a gift from God.”
- John Piper"